sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
