Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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