Kiss
Puke
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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