I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
