I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
