So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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