You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
