their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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