This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
