i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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