can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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