she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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