He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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