we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
