no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
