Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
