i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
