hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
