we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
