eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
