Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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