someone get that fucking seahorse.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
