Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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