Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
