Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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