You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
