You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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