I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
