You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
