I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
