Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
