whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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