I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize