Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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