I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
