So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
