just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
