i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
