okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
