he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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