Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
