sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
ttyl tear gas
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I need to calm my uterus...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
