That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
