I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
