Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
