I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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