I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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