Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
