Define "chronic" masturbator.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
