1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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