Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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