dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
