In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I will pee on everything he values.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
