So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
